The grass (or the snow) is always greener on the other side.

I am now on Snow Day...the "Day Two" edition. 

I have always loved snow. Always. To me, it makes the world peaceful, and it makes the world seem like a place where everything is perfect. Growing up in North Carolina, snow days were rare, and definitely a treat. We would get our sleds that were sitting in the closet beside the breezeway getting dusty, and head off to High Point College, where my sisters and my friends would take our lives into our hands as we sped down the hill. The biggest danger was running into people, and occasionally the big oak trees around the hill. In North Carolina, the schools shut down more for ice than they did for snow..but any mention of snow usually paralyzed the city. 

I was totally surprised when I moved to New Mexico that it was so cold here. The only reference I ever had to New Mexico, however, were the Bugs Bunny or Roadrunner cartoons. They showed a barren desert..and no one wore coats in the cartoons, I might add. So it was a delightful shock when I moved here, and it was cold, and there was snow on top of it. Bonus.

(My backyard yesterday in the snow..even the birdhouse is covered).

Rio Rancho got hit with a big snow storm yesterday..and it was a really big one. We got a half a foot of snow. It was strange, for parts of Albuquerque (which is less than 15 minutes away) got none. Absolutely nothing. I understand this happens a lot because of the winds that whip in from the mountain, and drive the snow to other places. In this case, the other place was Rio Rancho. I will mention that other years Albuquerque has gotten a butt load of snow, while Rio Rancho got nothing. So fair is fair. 

So Monday I woke up to a lot of falling snow, and many calls that informed me that we were delayed..and then school was called off. So I had a day that was total bliss..snuggling up in a blanket, watching Christmas movies, drinking hot coffee and Russian tea, and....

Taking Kitty for a walk. Several times, in fact. Some things in your life NEVER change. 

It was fun to walk, however. Nothing clears your mind and makes you appreciate the world more than walking in fresh snow that is sparkling like a field of diamonds, and watching a 12 year old dog frolic and prance like a puppy in it.  Loved it...just loved it.

As you may know, I have a lot of time to think, since it's just usually me and the dogs..and this past four days, it's just been me and Kitty..cause Tila is on her "shared custody" weekend with Whitney. And that gives me even more time to think because I am not on watch from the snatching jaws of Tila..or throwing her wubba for hours on end while trying to read a book or work at the same time. So double thinking time was involved.  

So here it is. We all want things that we do not have..and when we have them, we want the things we didn't have.

The snow day(s) are a perfect example. Everyone wants a day off of school, but when you get them off, then you start thinking about all the things you need to do at school, so then you start wishing you didn't have the snow day, and were back at school. And THEN when you are back at school, you start wishing you had a snow day off from all the stuff that is going on at school. 

It's just the nature of us humans.

Families are another example. I remember thinking when I had four children at home that a day in you know where for me would be at a Pizza Hut, washing clothes constantly. And a day in heaven would be an afternoon all to myself, instead of spending 5 minutes in the bathroom, and hearing the word "Mom?" constantly.  Of course, now that I have lots of minutes to myself, I miss the chatter of a thousand voices (perhaps I exaggerate a bit, but you get the picture) around me.

It's human nature once again. 

So in my new "Learning Life Lessons" of life, I try to keep in mind that whatever situation I am in, I need to enjoy the situation of what the "now" is, and not worry about the "what ifs" and the "I need tos". Because school and the stuff you need to do will always be there...your family and the things you "should do" will always be there. But the unexpected moments where you have a chance to sled with your children, and walk with your dog will not always come..so be in them when they're here. 

Cause it's the "now" that matters most of all. 

Wonder where my sled is now?  :-)

The Very Simple Christmas of Me.

I am amazed.

Now to be honest, it doesn't take much to amaze and make me happy. I had a student give me a "Professional Sharpie" yesterday, and you would have thought I got a new Coach purse.

Mine even had yellow grips on the side. I know, I'm pathetic.

Besides the fact that it doesn't take much to please me, I have continued to be amazed about Christmas this year.  In fact, I have stopped at times today to just feel the feelings that surge through me...kind of like finding a great sweater at Ann Taylor Loft. You are tickled and amazed that you got such a wonderful sweater that not only feels and looks good on you, but it's also on sale. Bonus.

That's what Christmas is continuing to feel like for me.

I wasn't sure really what getting ready for Christmas would look like this year. After all, I have been used all my life to have people involved in getting ready for Christmas, My mother, my sisters, my children, my husbands. And although Whitney helped me get all the Christmas tubs into the house, this year it has been all me. I wasn't sure how I would feel about that.

It's been wonderful.

Today I actually got out a ladder and put things up outside. Now anyone who knows me (even slightly) knows that I am not the most graceful person in the world. I did take ballet, but I don't think it taught me anything except my best look is not in a tutu. And my experiences with ladders since I've been on my own have been less than stellar. In fact, a lot less than stellar. In my "Recovery House" I was trying to replace something in the ceiling of the hallway...most likely a smoke detector battery. They are sneaky..they beep at you just enough to annoy you, but if you have more than one, it takes skill to figure out which one beeped.  Highly annoying.

(The Evil Ladder)

Anyway, I was up on the ladder when I slipped, and somehow managed to bump down on my feet on every rung of the ladder, so that when I hit the carpet, my feet were bloody and quite owwie. And the carpet was light beige, so I hopped quickly to the guest bathroom, where I stood for a bit, trying to figure out how I was going to fix my feet when there was blood gushing out of them. You can't get blood on the carpet you know..that would be a big time disaster.  So I found some towels in the cabinet, and hopped like a deranged rabbit to my bathroom, where I found gauze and stuff to repair the cuts. (Another tricky thing about living alone).

There have also been other incidents that would make you laugh, but that I will not mention at this time about the evil ladder that is out to destroy me. Most of my friends (well, in fact all my friends) have told me in no certain terms to stay off ladders. This is all well and good, but I can not contact my friends all the time so that they can stand on a ladder to do something that a normal graceful person could do.

I decided today would be a good day to get all the Christmas things up, and get the house decorated. To be honest, it is an essential thing to do since the Colinas Staff is invited to a Christmas party at my house on Friday. I have been told sternly by my Site Specialist that it "better be decorated". Who am I to question a Site Specialist, especially one who gives you "the look". So I took my life and feet into my own hands, and used the evil ladder...outside..and by a tree.  I actually got the wreaths on the garage door lights, and somehow managed to wrap Christmas lights on a tall evergreen (well, taller than me) beside my house. I didn't fall off at all. Although I did somehow manage to squish a couple of the bulbs on the strand. Who know they were so delicate? So if they don't work out tonight, I will have to go back and buy new strands, for it seems as if the Christmas tree light people are in a conspiracy to make you buy new strands when bulbs get accidentally squished by a certain someone who loses her balance and steps on them. They simply don't sell them...so this means you have to buy new strands if you want Christmas lights. Wrong on many levels.

(This is what my outside tree would look like if it was taller, there was snow outside, and my bulbs actually worked...)

Then I tackled the Christmas tubs. This is a perilous task for me, because in the past, bringing out Christmas ornaments left me like a puddle of jello, and on the sofa for the rest of the day. I also had to be strategic about it, because I can not put delicate and keepsake ornaments anywhere near Tila's reach. Because if she destroys them, she will be ...well, dead. And that is not a pleasant thing to do to a dog..especially at Christmas time. 

(She looks so innocent, doesn't she? Do not be deceived). 

This year, I actually had fun. I went through the Christmas ornaments, picking the ones that would survive Tila to be on the lower branches, and the ones that need to stay out of her reach on the top of the tree. A lot of the ornaments stayed in the boxes.  I apologized silently to them, but they just didn't need to be exposed to the "Tilanator" this year. For example, my Hummel Manager scene figurines. They are worth more than all the medical bills for Tila, and it is best to leave them resting in their boxes this year.  Perhaps next year they can make an appearance.

(The manager scene cow thanks me).

So I am happily putting out all the Christmas things that make me happy, and protecting the ones that wouldn't make it through a Christmas season with Tila.  For example, my snowmen plethora.  For some years, I was very fond of collecting snowmen, although at this time I do not know what in the world was wrong with me that I had such an obsession about them. Because I am becoming suspicious that they get together and multiple each year. There seem to be more coming out of the tubs every  year. And it's very hard to keep them in the tubs..they look so happy when you pull them out. One can't disappoint a happy snowman.  So they will perch here and there throughout my house...out of you know who's reach, you know. 

Believe it or not, I have these....

And these.....

And this one as well.

Serious snowmen intervention are in order for me. Wonder if there is a support group? 

So now I am happily putting up small Christmas trees in the rest of the house, and the rest of the things that will make my house like Christmas. And it's simple, it's just me, and it's more than ok.

Tra la la la la.  :-)

Tenacity...and I Mean It.

I am kind of proud of myself at the moment. And the whole reason that I am proud is because of a set of tires. Seems funny to be proud of, doesn't it? So I am sure that you are waiting for me to explain.

So here goes.

I bought my first car on my own after I left Crazy Land. I was pretty happy about that as well. This is the car that has to last me until I am 85. I try to take good care of it, and save it from as much Lab hair as I can. Which takes doing, I might add. But Kitty loves to ride in the car, and she listens to me when I sing off key..so she deserves  it.

I knew that I needed new tires for some time. I was in denial that I did, however. Although I did have my friends that were men check on the status of my tires. I am not in total denial, I might add. When I went for my 25,000 checkup (I am doing my best to take good care of my car, as you can see) I was told that my tires were on their last legs, so to speak. Something about having 2/13 or something of tread left on the tires. I gathered this was not a good thing.

So off I went to Discount Tires, with great trepidation, I might add as well.  I am a "rip off" magnet for tire guys. I'm single, naive, and know absolutely nothing about tires..except there are four of them, and they are black.  I am fortunate and have a little light thingy that looks like a tire (I think) that tells me when the air in my tires are low. So that means I go to Discount Tires and they refill them for me so I can drive, and so the light goes out.

At Discount Tire I talked to a young man named Tyler that looked like he was 15. Maybe 16 on a good day. Tyler explained to me that I needed tires that had a "V" rating, since it seems as if my tires and car are equipped to go at least 139 miles an hour. (Does he not know that I am a principal and can end up in the paper for things like that? And that I am terrified of heights and stuff?) I don't know if heights adds into the equation of going fast, but I thought I'd throw it out there just in case.  He described some tire that I have never heard of in my life..since I apparently don't do much out of town driving, and this tire has good gas mileage for some reason. (Makes me wonder if the tires hold extra gas in them for the better gas mileage). What is the difference between a "good gas mileage" tire and one that apparently has "bad gas mileage"? That is something for me to investigate later, or when I get more interested in tires. I can't see that happening, however.

I thanked Tyler, and went home. I did ask my head custodian, who is a man type guy if he recognized the tire brand, and he told me that he didn't but his brother did. This was not helpful. So since this was my weekend to go to Costco to get batteries to replace the ones that have been in the smoke and carbon dioxide detectors for a year, I stopped by the Costco Tire Center to see what kind of deal they had. They had a better deal, with Bridgestone tires, that also had "good gas mileage"..and they were over a hundred dollars less. So since Discount Tires price matched, I called them..and of course they would do this.

So why am I sitting at the nearest Starbucks instead of being home at the moment? I know you can hardly wait to find out.

I left my tires, went to Starbucks to work on my church curriculum things, and waited. When they were ready, I got my keys..and then I looked at the receipt. (Sometimes I am smart).

Guess what tires they put on my car?

The "I don't have a clue how to pronounce or even spell" tires.

Grrrrr.

So I marched myself back to the counter, and very nicely (but firmly explained) that these were not the tires I bought. Tyler (we are now on first name terms now) explained to me that he thought I was price matching his original deal.

Wrong. I was not.

So I disregarded Tyler, and spoke to an older Discount Tire man who I think is named Craig. He at least looks as if he is in his 30s. He apologized, and gave me Yokohama tires that cost 200 hundred dollars more for the same price. He said that I was getting "an amazing deal."

I hope he is truthful. If not, may all the tires that have grease and gunk on them fall down on him, and trap him in the oil trap.

Tenacity does pay off. 

Home Alone

If there is one lesson that I have learned since being propelled from the bubble, it is that things happen for a reason. (Kind along the same lines that there are no coincidences). When I look back at the things that have happened to me, I am extremely thankful that even though I didn't like it at the time, the things that happened saved me from myself.

One of the hardest things for me since I left Crazy Land was the being alone part. When I look back, I really never have lived on my own. I lived with my mom and sisters, my college roommates, Whitney and Reid's Dad, then just Reid and Whitney, and then with the Mayor. So I went from a world that was big and filled with people, to one that was small and filled with...dogs.  I think a lab counts as at least two or three dogs.

I must admit that I did not like this alone thing at first. At all. Those of you who are my friends (and I owe you an apology) can attest to this. It went kind of like this; "I don't like being alone waa...waaaa...what am I going to do? Whine...whine...I don't like this AT ALL.  waaa....waaaa...whine...whine...whine." And my friends would tell me the following things, that usually went like this:

• You will be fine.
• You will be ok.
• Go walk Kitty.

So (since I really didn't know what was going to happen to me at this point) shook my head to mean "yes" (I didn't really mean yes, but I did figure out that they knew better than I did at this point). And then I went to go walk Kitty. 

Another phrase that I heard (and hear) a lot is that "Time takes care of a lot of stuff you don't like." (This is a profound phrase paraphrased by me).  I didn't like hearing that..cause I am the kind of person who would like to wiggle her nose like Samantha the Witch and things would be all perfect like. However, that is what happened before (or I pretended it happened) when I was in the Bubble.  Life doesn't work that way. Sometimes you have to really work for the things that you want..and work to figure out what is important..and what doesn't mean a jiggle in the scheme of things.

I love Holidays. I always have. In the past, one of the best parts of the holidays for me were all the people that I loved and cared about..getting to see them, and spend time with them, and fight over who got to stir the dressing and lick the lemon pound cake batter.  Those days are gone for me. But I now have others things in place that are just as meaningful for me..just in different ways.

Whitney is going to be gone for Christmas. This is a really good thing for her and her dad. She hasn't seen him and his family for many Christmases, so it is time for her to go. I wasn't really sure if she was going, cause she hadn't quite made her mind up yet. I also know that she worries about me a little bit being alone. So when she called me this week to let me know she was going to spend Christmas in Georgia, I was a little surprised. She explained the reasons to me, and of course I wanted her to go. Then I hung up the phone.

Then I waited.

I waited for the feelings of despair and "poor me" and sadness to come.

And guess what?

They weren't there.

(Angels doing the wave, Reid blowing his Tuba, God giving my guardian angels time off from their hazardous pay duty from supervising me).

I am ok with it. I really am. I can make my own Christmas, and start some things that I can do during the Christmas season. I can do a lot about giving to others, instead of moping around and feeling sorry for myself. Which amazingly, I don't. 

Of course I will miss Whitney, but I am happy that she can spend time with her wonderful father, who doesn't see her as much as I do. And it's really nice to have the peace inside knowing that I am fine with who I am and what I do.

And if I hadn't had the time, and the lessons that I learned about being alone before now...I wouldn't be at the peaceful stage that I am about myself.

So looking back, what happened to me led to good things happening now. That and that word, time. Still don't like that word, but it's true. Rats.  

Perhaps I shall go Christmas Caroling with the dogs. Wonder if they can howl to "Silent Night"?  :)

The Happy of Me-the second edition

Since it is Thanksgiving, it is now time for the second edition of the "Happy of Me." I feel sad for Thanksgiving. It seems as these days that the Christmas season just steamrolls over Thanksgiving, and it does not get the credit that it deserves. The one thing that I have learned (angels applauding here) is that I have many, many, many, many (did I mention many?) things to be thankful for..and that is what the Thanksgiving season is for. (Not to mention the yummy Thanksgiving meal leftovers..after all, there is nothing better than a turkey sandwich with Miracle Whip, cranberry sauce, and left over dressing. Nothing).

So here are the things that I am thankful for-the second edition. To be honest, I am not sure if I have a first edition, but I know I have talked about things I am thankful for before..so I am counting this as the second edition. Besides, it sounds better.

Here we go..prepare for major rambling.

1. My job. I know this may sound strange, as much grumbling that I have done in previous blogs. But the fact of the matter is that even though my job may be tricky at times, and I feel at times that I am highly inadequate to the task at hand, the fact of the matter is that I am exactly where I am supposed to be at the moment, doing exactly what I need to be doing. And when I look around and see families that have lost homes and possessions due to losing a job, I am very thankful indeed.  And seeing the children that go to Colinas makes me realize just how fortunate I am . I am also thankful for the people that I work with everyday, even though they do make a scrunchy face and flee when I threaten to sing. So thank you Rio Rancho Public Schools for hiring me. (even though I still contend that they were desperate.)
2. Whitney and Dena. Both amazing..both love me..and I sure love them. 

3. My friends. I am not sure where I would be without them today..they support me, laugh with me,  and love me as I continue to learn many, many, many life lessons..and I hope that they know how much I love them and would do anything for them.  I can't imagine what my life would be without them. I hope I never have to imagine.

4. Kitty and Tila. They give me a purpose, and are always entertaining. Always. They are the best therapy a dork like me could have. 

5. My job at Sagebrush. I get to work with amazing and wonderful  people..and finally, there is a purpose to my goofiness and dorkyness. Double bonus.

6. My home. It IS my home. I am happy when I am here, I am happy when I work on it..and for the first time in I can't tell you, I am even happy when it's a bit messy. That never EVER happened before.  I think it goes to show you when you let go and let things happen like they should, things take care of themselves. And control is not so important as peace.

7. My crepe myrtles. They bloomed this summer, and are a happy reminder of the South for me. Kind of like having a bit of North Carolina in my New Mexico backyard.

8. My lawnmower. I love to mow, and it was "What a bargain." Can't ask for more than that. 

9. My new glasses. I can FINALLY wear glasses, and not have crowds running screaming out of the room. They are very hip and trendy. And even though Tila got ahold of them, and chomped them (not a happy moment) I am even more thankful that they were under warranty and didn't cost a lung transplant to replace them. 

10. My ficus plant. This is a story about the power of Facebook. I had been looking for one for sometime, but I didn't have any luck finding one. And I really needed one for the empty corner of my den. So one day I asked on Facebook if anyone knew where I could get one that didn't weigh as much as a two-ton truck. And one of my friends, Debbie, actually gave me one that is now sitting very happily in my den. Thank you, Debbie.

11. Jackson Reid. Best and happiest baby (well, I guess he is a toddler) ever. And no, I am not in the least bit biased. 

12. My iPhone. It does almost everything except washing dishes...and I am sure if I looked, there would be an app for that. 

13. The lessons that I keep learning. Once again, I know that I grumble and complain about going through stuff, but I have realized that there are reasons I go through these lessons. With every experience I have, I learn more about who I am, and what I want. Not what I think others want, or about what someone I like might want, but about what I need, and the standards that I have. At times this makes me feel a bit guilty still, but then I stop and realize that taking care of me means just that...if I care enough about myself, I need to make myself a priority. Least I hope that's the path I'm on. 

14. .Learning that I am really not that bad. I am happy with who I am, and where I am in life. I am so thankful to wake up every morning, and realize that I am happy with me ..and that everyday is a chance to learn more about myself and realize it is more important to be happy in the present than wistful about the past, or worried about the future. Cause what happens is supposed to happen.  Of course, I have my moments..but they are getting fewer and less frequent. I think. At least that is my theory at the moment.

15. And last but not least...(I know you must be breathing a sigh of relief I'm almost done)

I am thankful for my new fuzzy red blanket that keeps me warm, and that best of all, I won as a present at Pokeno. I do like to win. And the fact that it is cute, fuzzy, and warm is a bonus. Now if it only came with a Sharpie, it would be perfect.

I hope you have a Thanksgiving that is full of things you are thankful for..and that you don't let Christmas run over it.  Just saying. :-)

The people you meet on planes..and Phoenix.

This week, I got to go on an exciting adventure. Due to a series of events (and the kindness of Robert) I got to go to a conference about Singapore Math in Phoenix. (Well, actually it was in Scottsdale, but we landed in Phoenix).

Usually I get on a plane, make small talk with the people beside me, and then read or look outside the plane trying to figure out where in the heck we are. I always thought they should have big balloons up in the sky that read "You are passing Dallas, Texas".  However, no one seems to like that idea. It would be a good way to pass the time while flying, though.

This time was different. The plane going to Phoenix was packed, and I sat next to a women that was on her way to Scottsdale. She is training to be a Life Coach, working with Martha Beck. Martha Beck is one of the people whose books I've been reading to be more in the now. (Isn't it interesting how there are no coincidences in  life?) We talked about how she is training and what is happening in her life, and she recommended a new author for me to read: Bryon Katie. So of course that new author is now on my iPad. She seems to have a life in which she has a home  in New Mexico with a man who gets upset if he has less than a million dollars in his checking account. (Really? I am happy if I have 1000 dollars in mine) And now she is looking for a home in Phoenix to be near her daughter and grandchildren.  But the best part was hearing about the Life Coaching classes, and thinking that perhaps that might be an option for me. If you think about it, most of my job is listening and problem solving with others. Or trying to, at least.  We traded phone numbers at the end of the trip, and she is going to let me know how her Martha Beck retreat went.

Then I landed in Phoenix. I have been to several nice conferences, but this one kept my mouth open most of the time in amazement. We were met at the airport by a stretch limousine .  A stretch limousine. Holy Cow. (I don't get out much, I know).  We got to the hotel, which was also amazing. I was in a suite with a balcony overlooking the pool and the golf course...with two beds, and an actual shower that worked.  (you know how hotel showers can be).

Then there was the conference. They had the actual inventor (well, author I guess is a better word) of the Singapore Math model who was the main speaker. He was from Singapore, naturally. They just call this model "math" in Singapore, not Singapore Math.  They also had several incredible keynote speakers as well. I met the lady who wrote the "Calendar Math" program that I used when I taught. THAT was exciting. I am sure she was thrilled as I explained to her how great I thought her program was, and how I wished I had brought the book for her to sign. Although I gave the book away. Rats.

I met a lot of professionals in the field of education as well. It was kind of reassuring to find out that most people are facing the same situations we are..and that we need to be appreciative in Rio Rancho. Most class sizes were a lot higher than what we complain about having. There were class sizes in some states of forty children. Forty children. Holy Cow.

I also believe that the sponsors of this conference felt as if we had been in some kind of German concentration camp, and needed to be fed. A lot. There was a lot of food, in all varieties and specialities..like a cheesecake chimichanga. Let me just say that after being persuaded to take one bite, the heavens opened and the angels sang. It took all the willpower I had to not stab my fork and eat the rest of it.  But I thought of Torturous Dave, the trainer, and resisted.

Then it was time to go, sadly. We departed in the stretch limousine, and traveled back to the airport. This time I sat next to a lady who looked like an older version of a model on the cover of Vogue..(and this is the best part) she had a Louis Vuitton purse.

The mother ship of purses, I might add.

Being me, I complemented her on her good taste, and she shared with me that she inherited a whole collection of Luis Vuitton ware from her late mother. Purse, garment bag, suitcases, etc. Once again, my mouth was open in awe. This fact led to her story of life..in which she has dual lives...one outside of Phoenix, where she lives in her late mother's home. The other life she has is in Corrales, where she shares a gigantic house with her boyfriend, who actually searched for her..and found her, since they were a couple in high school. He is a lawyer that travels to Wyoming , where he visits his adult children and grandchildren. I'm not sure if he gets anxious if he has less  than a million dollars in his checking account...but I don't think the issue of money is an issue with either one of them. 

We talked about the dating world, and how all her gorgeous friends are having trouble finding a man who is actually normal. (This does not bode well for me, then, I might add). She did say that I should come and visit them in their huge house. Perhaps she will give me a leftover Luis Vuitton purse.

I am always hopeful. :-)

The "Mature Ladies of Valle Alto" weekends

Kitty and I really enjoy our weekends. Let me clarify, in case you are wondering why this is. (And if you are not wondering, it is best just to stop reading now...because I am sure I am going to ramble).

My Whitney moved out of my house at the beginning of the school year. She and her friends are living in this little house in Albuquerque..in which I am sure that they have a great time, and do things that 20 year olds do..most of it in which I don't want to know. When she did so, I still had Kitty and the amazing Tila Monster in my possession. And although I am very fond of Tila on many levels, there are some things about Tila that make living with her an endurance event:

1. She is slightly crazy..and those of you who know her will agree.
2. She is VERY excited to see anyone and everyone. There is not a part of her body that doesn't move when someone has the fortune to stop by my house. Her body moves kind of like a highly agitated washing machine on the spin cycle. 
3. She considers it her duty in life to up my aerobic training by constantly grabbing items from places that I haven't put high enough out of her reach. And then she considers it a game for me to get it from her.  I have become very adept at the phrase, "Drop it!" And although she is getting better at listening to that phrase, there are times I wish I could run like a very fast runner (whose name escapes me at the moment) so I can catch her. This doesn't happen, however...because she is a very fast dog. 
4. If I do sit down, she spends a lot of time (I think she is in contact with my trainer) putting bones, chew toys, her wubba in my lap so I can spend time tossing them, tugging them, or petting her. Shame on me for forgetting my duties as a dog grandma.
5. She also gets up in the night, because she IS  potty trained..and she needs to go outside to do her business. However, the other night (when I had to do my business) I walked out of the bathroom to find her with my BRAND NEW (and expensive, I might add) glasses in her mouth. I am amazed I could see this, because it was dark, and I am extremely near sighted. She did drop them, but not before she twisted the arm of the frame, and put a small chomp in one of the lenses. The only reason that she is alive at this moment is because (Thank God) my glasses are under warranty, and only cost  forty dollars to replace.

In short, she is a puppy. 

When you have children, there is a mantra that goes like this..." Mom, I want (fill in the blank here), and I PROMISE that I will do all the work, take care of it, and you won't have to worry about it AT ALL." And when you have children, you KNOW that the mantra was made with all the best intentions in the world, but sometimes the follow-through doesn't...well...doesn't follow through. 

This was the case with Tila.. 

However, when Whit did move out, she did a wonderful thing. We now share "joint dog custody" of Tila. I have her weekdays, and she has her weekends, allowing Kitty and I some respite from a one year old puppy who considers it her duty in life to bug poor Kitty, who is just trying to take a nap and rest. 

So Kitty and I enjoy our "Mature Ladies of Valle Alto" weekends...in which we can sit without being licked to death, put objects in normal places where they will not be snatched by the "Tilanator" and generally rest up for her return on Monday morning. And it is nice....

But I have to say, she does bring a bit of dog excitement to my life, and I'm glad to see her when she returns.

Wonder where I can hide my new glasses at now? 

(Tila plotting her next item to snatch...I think she really is concerned about my aerobic health, after all).

Have a Mature, relaxing, weekend too. 

Sometimes days are just like that...and random thoughts in October.

Our school has been without a working voice mail system for a while. When I say for a while, I mean since last spring. This has been an issue because the voice mails somehow get out there in "voice mail land". They must take a trip to Disney World, perhaps spend the day at the beach, and somehow end up in voice mail boxes a couple of days later. This has made any kind of credibility that we have in being responsive quite difficult....but everyone has been understanding for the most part when we try to explain messages are taking some kind of TransSiberian Train ride before they come to our phones.

We finally got new phones on Monday. This was very exciting, because new stuff is just...well, new, and a bit different, and new phones have absolutely nothing to do with data or test score improvement. This is a nice diversion sometimes.   The phones are quite hip and trendy, and come with all kinds of digital buttons and screens and features that most of us have no idea what to do with at the moment.  And we can't use the intercom system, because they have to some how magically sync the phones with the intercom system. However, the new phones do have a paging system that will let you page and make announcements over the phone. All this feature has done so far is scare our staff members half to death. One of our fifth grade teachers typically keeps his phone in his room closet (no comment here about that :) and he said that it was a little disturbing the other afternoon to hear my voice coming out of his closet.  It doesn't take much to entertain us at Colinas.

Along with the phones, we had a deadline today in which the teachers would turn in their Professional Development Plans (or PDPs ) to us. Since today was the last day, I spent most of my time in meetings going over these plans with individual teachers. And it rained. All day. In New Mexico, we need the rain...but having rain leads to inclement weather day..which leads to fear and dread among teachers and staff. Let's just say that children do best when they are outdoors during recess, running amok. ( I love the word amok. Don't ask me why. It is a word that is applicable to many things and situations).


As in:


1. Tila is running amok. This is a normal occurrence.
2. My brain is running amok. Also a normal occurrence.
3. My shoes are running amok. Why is it that you are always looking for a pair of shoes...and one is always missing? Do they hate you?  Do they get together in the middle of the night in your closet and decide to hide to drive you crazy in the morning at 5:00 am? (The fact that most likely Tila has run off with one of them doesn't factor into this. In fact, Tila found one buried in the cushions of a wing chair in my bedroom after a YEAR..yes, a year does not factor into this). This of course, was after I had given up all hope and purchased another pair that were similar to them.

The rain also happened during the Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta. This is one of the biggest and best events if you live in Albuquerque, and it ALWAYS leads to wind and rain. ALWAYS. It hadn't rained in months, but it chose to rain 2 or 3 days straight because you guessed it...the Balloon Fiesta was in town. Makes you wonder if God has a bit of a sense of humor. Well, of course God has a sense of humor. He gave someone the idea for the Chia Pet.

Have a Sunday where your world isn't going amok. ;-)

.

Are you a Good Witch? Or A Bad Witch?

I always loved watching the Wizard of Oz growing up. This was of course back when it only came on once a year..and it was a BIG deal. It was usually on Sunday nights..and my sisters and I would sit on the floor, filled with anticipation and dread. I loved the first part of the movie..Ms. Glitch on her bike (da da da da da da daaa.) the tornado spinning the house in Oz, the Munchkins, the Scarecrow, The Lion, and the Tin man.


And then there was the Wicked Witch of the West. (shudder)


I did not like the latter part..especially the flying monkeys and The Wicked Witches' henchmen.  I really got upset when the flying monkeys tore the scarecrow apart..and when the henchmen said that chant. (ooo eee oooo eeee ooooo aaa). But the Wicked Witch did melt at the end, Dorothy figured out that she already had everything she needed where she was, and the Tin Man did get his heart..although he had it anywho.


This sounds suspiciously like my life, I might add.


Just like the movie, I was looking forward to this school year with anticipation and dread. Anticipation because I love the group of people that I work with...dread because things were changing and moving faster than the tornado did that lifted Dorothy's house off to Oz.


It looks like we're not in Kansas anymore, either.


I knew this year would be harder on everyone. We had staffing cuts, due to budget and to our school population. For the first time since I've become the principal, we were forced to combine grade levels..so that our class sizes wouldn't reach 35 or 40. We have Special Education teachers working with different grade levels, and even some General Education teachers doing the same.  Our district has always been a huge proponent of lower class sizes and staffing so that our children get the maximum support. With the budget shrinking faster than the Tin Man's heart, this was not possible this year. And things had to change.


And no one likes the changes much, I might add.


Since I've been in administration, I have noticed ebbs and flows in a school year. It always seems like there is a HUGE dip in November. ...and then again in the spring, especially when there is a long stretch between breaks. This year, we have hit the dip in September...which is scary. Everyone is working hard, stretched to their limit, and exhausted. On top of less staff and support, we are expected to do target more specific needs, and perhaps do a backflip to show that we can juggle data, support families that are also struggling to stay afloat, and have some semblance of a personal life.


I have always been a person who likes it when people are happy and content. (Amazingly enough, there are actually people that don't like it when people are happy..but that's another story).  The staff that work at Colinas work harder than anyone I know..and they have a level of excellence that they expect to stay at each year..but this year is different entirely.


And I didn't know what to do.


I LIKE to know what to do..it's the teacher in me, it's the people pleaser in me..it's me. I like it when people are happy and content. In short, I  have visions of being a shorter, darker haired version of the Glinda, the Good Witch.

Silly me.


This year, I have had to be more direct than I have ever had to be. Ever. Because of the expectations that are coming from the state; and also because we want to make sure that every child has the support that they need..and that we give the support that is needed for both the students and the staff to do so.  Part of this I agree with...we do need to look at data and best practices to ensure we are doing the right things for our kids..and back our ideas with solid data and best practices. Part of this I don't agree with..constraints and guidelines that don't make logical sense, and most importantly, aren't fair to the students and the teachers.


All of the above made me feel at times as if I was now the very person I was terrified of each year...

This of course, will not do. At all. She definitely has bad hair care.


All of this left me exhausted and befuzzled and sad. I wasn't sure what I could do to make it better for everyone...since the circumstances weren't going to change..or to help everyone...because of course I like to be helpful. 


And then I started to think. This of course is in conjunction with the books that I've been reading about how to stay present in the "now"...how to be the person you want to be..even though everything around you is not what you want it to be. 


I have the power to change that. I do have the power to change one thing. I can't change the circumstances of this year, or what is going on in my life (like where in the world is Mr. Right...or Mr. Kinda almost Right) but I can change my attitude about how I feel.  Our very wise counselor at Colinas (who actually IS
our Glinda, the Good witch) told me a quote by Victor Frankl, which says, " Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. " 


I can choose my response to all this. I can choose to face the circumstances, but still respond in the way that  is positive and affirming. I can choose to come to school each day..and face my life each day with making the very best responses I can in the very best of difficult circumstances. And in doing so, perhaps there is a chance that I can still do the job I was hired to do...and support the people that I care about. 


I have the power.

I think I'm buying the wall hanging above for Christmas presents..or maybe putting it on T-shirts. :)

Honesty...just saying.

You would think that I would learn. You would think that the "Life Lessons of Laura Moore" should have advanced by now to a more fine tuned, metaphysical, world renowned me. (Although I am now famous at the local Starbucks because someone caught me in a weak moment and took my picture. I would rather have my nails pulled off than take a picture. Well, let me rethink that one...but you know what I mean). This just goes to show you that I spend far too much time at Starbucks. However, that's another story for another time.

I have mentioned before that people usually convey what they are. (Please refer back to the story about the Mayor and his distain for lying).  If you are a person that likes to cheat and run around on your spouse/significant other/sweetie pie...then you are going to think that everyone else does that too. Hopefully you are not that person. Please don't tell me if you are. I really don't want to know that. I think if you are fortunate enough to have a spouse/significant other/sweetie pie..it is a good idea to show commitment to said sweetie pie.

I am also finding out (in the latest installment of my Life lesson journey) that people will also convey things to you that they are not. Perhaps they wish they were that. Perhaps someone told them they were that. Perhaps they had a fleeting glimpse of what it would be like to be that...and they are holding on to that glimpse like Tila holds on to one of my new shoes. I don't know. But here is the deal.

I don't get why honesty is such an issue.

Now don't get me wrong...I don't have a halo around my head. I have not been truthful myself at times. I don't think anyone is entirely truthful. But it never continues to amaze me how people can spin webs around themselves, trapping themselves in lies..when it would be so much easier on everyone if they had put on their big boy/girl pants and just told the truth in the first place.

Lack of honesty is a slippery slope. Once you start down that hill, it is very hard to get back up to the top again. And it's hard to keep up with what you say...and then what you said after that. This leads to puzzled looks on faces...and those who do have good memories remember the variation in facts. And sometimes, there are people who choose NOT to hear the lies..or the stories that change faster than the innings when your baseball team is not so....well, not so stellar.  I lived that way for a long time. It was easier to ignore the discrepancies than face the real truth.

So here is the deal again.

People who spend a lot of time telling you who they are, and what they are about...usually are the opposite  of what they are saying.

If you are nice and kind, it is just best to be that..rather than telling others you are that.

If you are a BFL (big fat liar for those of you who don't know me well) it is best to get a notebook to keep up with what you say to others. After all, if lack of integrity is your deal, it is best to show fidelity in doing so.

Just saying.

The "Letting Go" Thing

I am happy to announce that I am now going through more than one paragraph a day of the Eckart Tolle book. After tutorial instructions from my friend who is fond of the Chefs..

I am now zipping through "The Power of the Now". However, keep in mind that zipping means in this case I can get through the main idea of it all. I will say this is a book where bits and pieces pop out at you. They are minute bits and pieces at this point, but some things are making sense just the same.

One thing Mr. Tolle (I don't think it is respectful to call him Eckart at this point) is talking about in my morning selection of his book is that in order to live in the "Now", you have to let go of the control and by doing so, you will accumulate more than you could have even dreamed of having.

As I read this passage, I realized that I (yes, small, anxiety ridden  me) had actually done this...and it worked!

(Skies opening, angels singing, birds tweeting, my personal angels going "Woot Woot" that I FINALLY got something).

When I was trying to purchase my house, there were many obstacles along the way. The biggest one was that the money that I was supposed to get in the house that the Mayor and I owned together was being withheld from me for various reasons; the major one (I imagine) was that he did not want me to have it.

This was an issue, for without this money, there would not be a house for me. However, to be honest, I was very happy at my peaceful "Recovery House", and I wasn't really focusing on the fact that I might not be able to get it.

The house was supposed to be ready in August, and there were some crucial papers that the Mayor HAD to sign to prove that my name was no longer on the mortgage that we shared together. This obviously was a law written somewhere in "How to Buy a House" land. But to do this, I had to go talk to them (which I would not do for my sanity and safety) or he had to sign them. (Which he would not do. This should not have surprised me..and didn't really).

So I told the real estate people that I could do no more to make sure that they had all the signatures that they needed...and if they wanted me to get the loan, they would have to figure out a way to make this work. And then I hung up the phone, and went home to walk Kitty. After all, one must have priorities.

In short, I let the situation  go, and threw it out there in the cosmos of life. I didn't obsess about what would happen if I didn't get it. I didn't worry about what could happen to the small investment I had already made.

To repeat....I let the situation  go. Mr. Tolle says you don't have problems (unless you are living in the future or the past) you have situations.

(Skies opening again, angels doing back flips along with Reid, and reporting to God that perhaps they could drop their platoon of angel surveillance a bit on me. I imagine monitoring me takes angels working overtime).

And guess what happened?

Well, if you know me, you know what happened, because I am now sitting in the house of which I let go of the problem. (oops, I mean situation).

It does work. :)

The Now of the Now.

Have I ever mentioned I am a good reader?

I LOVE to read. I have read a lot most of my life. I read when I dry my hair..I read when I am sitting on the toilet. I read when I am eating any kind of meal alone. (Don't tell our librarian that..you are not supposed to eat while you read).

I have always been a speedy reader as well. This has its advantages and disadvantages. When I was in Mrs. Sexton's class in the sixth grade, I would read a passage..finish..look around..and see that I was the first one done. Then I would read it over again since I didn't want the teacher to think that I hadn't read the book. And maybe read it again if others were still reading. I didn't want to get in trouble, or look like I wasn't doing what I should be doing, for goodness sakes.

Since I read quickly, and skim along the way (The Evelyn Wood Speed Reading program  has nothing on me). I do miss details. This makes rereading again a pleasure, because I find out new facts that I missed the first time. For example, I missed the whole Harry Potter versus Lord Voldemort flying scene...but to be honest, I don't think it was in the book in the first place. I might add that I have very skilled comprehension for someone who flies along the pages. I am sure I am over a DRA 50.

 When Reid died, I was lucky if I could read a page at a time at all. The anchor that had been my whole life fell apart as well. I would pick up a book..start to read a page..the letters would get all scrambly..and then I would put down the book and go to sleep. The whole foundation of my life was betraying me. Very unfair.

Now it's five years after his death (holy cow) and I can read again. I still don't have the stamina that I used to have for reading, but bits and pieces of this part of my life are coming back. And because I am learning life lessons...and the things I need to learn..I encounter people that are helping me on my way. That's the way the Life Lesson World is, I have discovered.

I think I was meant to read the Eckert Tolle "The Power of Now" because A: I was given it as a gift several years ago by a colleague who obviously could see I needed its wisdom, and B: A friend  recommended it. It's kind of when you go to a store or a restaurant..and there is a parking space right up front by the building. That is a sign you are supposed to be there.  (in the world of me, that is).  So I felt that I should be reading this book, by the actions of the time-space continuum around me.

But Holy Cow.

This book is not a book you can skim through. Not at all. I am STILL on chapter one, and I've read it for five days now. In fact, I am not even off the fifth page of Chapter One.  Mr. Tolle is VERY deep and very wise. In fact, he is so wise...I have to keep reading the words in a paragraph several times just to get the meaning..and then I have to think about the meaning and the sentences before I can continue to the next paragraph.

I think I need a "Eckert Tolle Book for Dummies".

However, I am getting some bits and pieces of what he is trying to say to my very muddled brain. It's that you have to let go of the past..and not worry about the future. I have done some really hard brain work of letting go of the past. It was really hard work, I might add. I blamed myself for everything..so ending up in Crazy Land, for putting my children through pain, for disappointing others..the list was long. I did finally realize that I did make the best decisions that I could at the time. I am a good and a wonderful person to be around..and that the past, and the lessons that I have learned from it, have taught me what to do (and not to do) and to keep myself fairly grounded.

The future part is still an issue with me, however.

I do like to think about what my life will be like..and what I want it to be like. But those two factors really have nothing to do with what it is at the moment. Because the moment of the now is the only now that I know. (Try to say that quickly two times). But it's true. I do have moments where the joy of the moment, and all it entails, takes my breath away. I have those now moments when I walk the dogs...when I see a student smile at me...when a staff members confides in me...when Miss Pam's two grandsons run and put their arms around me. I felt it last week when a friend was sitting on my couch with his arm around me. It's like when you are home.

But I am scared of those moments, to be honest. I am terrified that they will be snatched away..and the pain of it all will put me back to where I was when I was missing my son with every fiber of my body, and wishing that my mom was alive. And that's what the now is all about..to enjoy what you have while you are having it..and not to think about when it could end, or if someone could change their mind about you.

I hope I get to that part of the book soon.

A New Skill Set

I was reading a Facebook post this morning that talked about how on Facebook relationships are always perfect, people have these great lives, full of exciting adventures and great attitudes.

Just to let you know, I am not that typical Facebook person.

I do need to make a couple of things clear before I launch into this rambling episode of "How the Bubble Turns."

1. I know I am a great person.
2. I know I have a lot to offer someone.
3. I know that there are things about me that need to be improved..and trust me, the list is long.
4. I really(for the most part) like who I am.
5. I now know that not everything that happens in the world is my fault. I have stopped taking responsibility (for the most part) of how people feel and react. (As if I could have controlled that anywho).

But I am learning a lot. Again. Sigh.

I like things neat and tidy. I always have. I like to know what is coming down the road. I like to know that step A leads to step B. I like to think that when someone tells you something, they really mean it.

However, none of the above is true all the time.

Several things happened this week to make it a "Perfect Storm" in terms of how I took a detour in my positive road of the path of life. I kind of slid into the marsh lands of "the slime"  of life.  It is kind of when  right after Reid died...I would feel as if the Monster from the Black Lagoon would reach up and grab me, twisting my insides so hard that I  felt like I had been through a Coffee press..with little pieces of me left behind. Each one in themselves wouldn't have been so bad, but all of them together were not helpful.

What the things were are not important at this point,  (except that when you are exhausted, going to sleep is helpful) but what I need to realize is this. This life in which I am meeting new people, and searching to find someone to share my life with is a whole new skill set for me. Like anything that you are doing, you don't do it well at first. And it doesn't flow from step A to step B as easily as I would like it to flow.  And even when it does do that, the flow of what you want to happen can stop...or change directions...or turn you upside down. I'm not so resilient in this area as I am in other areas of my life. I need to recognize this about myself, and really work on how to take care of myself, yet not lose the pieces of me that make up me.

At school we are working on Essential Standard plans, in which you look at a specific area that needs improvement (according to data, of course) and design a plan for how you will improve and get to proficiency in that area. I guess I need a plan as well for how I will handle my new skill set..except the only "data" I have are the life lessons that I keep learning each and every day. There is not a "life map" for me..except that I need to stay who I am, keep learning, and remember that each day brings new exciting adventures and opportunities for me to learn...again.

Dang it. :)

The Tall and Short of it all.

I had two grandmothers. (Well, I guess everyone has two grandmothers, unless they are an amoeba or something of that nature). One grandmother was well off, taught me how to hold my little pinkie up while drinking tea, and was very tall. The other grandmother lived in Yanceyville, NC, made the best lemon pound cake in the world, and was very short.

I know that it is hard for anyone that knows me now  to believe, but ask anyone that I went with to Kirkman Park Elementary School, and they will tell you I was one of the tallest girls in the fifth and sixth grade. I was even on the back row for class pictures..and you know you are tall when you are on the back row. Everyone thought I would be very tall, just like my tea drinking grandmother.

Oops.

It turned out that my growth spurt was during those two glorious back row years.  And that was it. I achieved my present height of 5'2 (and a half) when I was in the sixth grade...and there I stayed. Just like my pound cake making grandmother.

My lack of height has never bothered me, really. In fact, it kind of bothers me when someone is actually shorter than I am. Don't ask me why. I can't tell you.

When I first began teaching, I was 23, short, and working in a middle school of all places. I have a theory that I should never teach anyone taller than I am..and that kind of rules out anyone above the fourth grade. But this was my first teaching year, and everyone knows you take what you can take to become a teacher..because after that you can always maneuver around to a position that is a better fit for you.  The only problem that I had with that first year is that the other teachers kept trying to get me out of the hall to go to class....not my classroom, because they thought I was a student, not a teacher. It took several months for them to get this fact, and even after they figured it out, I still got looks like I was on the wrong planet or something.

In my years as an primary elementary teacher, my height was never a problem. In fact, it is a bonus. You can sit on the floor quickly, get up faster (not as much height to get up with) and it's easy to talk to children on their level because...well,  you are on their level.

Then I became an assistant principal. My height really wasn't an issue then, either, because in the world of children, I was not the "real" principal. In fact, I'd be talking to a child about some kind of issue, and they would stop suddenly, give me a stern look, and ask if I was the "real" principal. I would explain that the real principal was busy at the moment, and I was helping her out until she got back from doing "real principal" like things.  (not sure what they are, but I am sure that they exist).

When the Rio Rancho District became desperate and hired me as an actual principal, my height became a factor. In an elementary student's world, taller equals more important...or something to that effect. It is also interesting to note that the same equation exists in the elementary parent mind as well.

Robert,who is the assistant principal at Colinas,  has been in administration longer than I have. And he is one of the most observant men I know. "The Book of Abney" has saved us from many disasters, and our working relationship is one that I really treasure. We kind of balance each other. Don't ask me why about this either. I don't know why, but I am thankful that we do.

Robert is also 6'7...or as his wife says, 5'19. Needless to say, he is very tall. This factor is very useful at an elementary school. He walks out of his office to talk to one of our students, and their eyes bug out of their sockets. This works with parents as well. He has one of the biggest hearts of anyone I know, but when you first view him in the upper hemisphere, it can be intimidating.


I have never viewed myself as being "In charge". It takes a lot of people to run a school, and I am just one of the many people there that make Colinas the school that it is. But to a lot of the children, Robert is in "the principal". The rationale is that he is tall, I am short, and that is all there is to that. This leads to many interesting conversations with children:

Child: "Ms. Moore, when did you become the principal this year?"
Me: " I've been the principal since you've been at Colinas." (This is his fifth year at Colinas).
Child: "But when did Mr. Abney stop being the principal and become the assistant principal?"
Me: "We are both principals."
Child: "But Mr. Abney was the real principal."
Me: "He is a real principal, and so am I. I think it's time for you to go outside and cause havoc on the playground." (Now I really didn't say the second sentence, but I thought it).  :)

So the "Real" principal and I will keep on doing what we do, and somehow balancing out each other. I looked at a picture of the two of us at the annual ice cream social the other day. Actually, I had a really hard time seeing me in the picture, because all that was visible was the top of my head, and my eyes. It takes skill to get a picture of the two of together.

But that's ok. Between the two of us, I think we make a normal person. And a pretty good team.

I have a condition..and other random thoughts about the second week of school

Holy Cow.

This has been a week.

That is really all that should be said, but since I am me, and I think a lot, I will elaborate...and perhaps ramble a bit during my elaboration. So this is your warning now to click off my blog and perhaps do something more entertaining..such as watch the Colinas Cows try to find a new grassy spot to eat.

They say (not sure who the "they" would be at the moment) that there are no coincidences. This I believe. I have become accustomed to the fact that where ever I am, I am there to learn the lessons that I need to learn, and move on to the next lesson. It's kind of interesting, really. I keep thinking, "I wonder what will happen next?" (kind of like Winnie The Pooh)

I think that sometimes people think that my job consists of sitting in my office, looking "principal like" and doing what they "think" a principal should do. I mean after all, all I knew about my elementary school principal was that he sat up in a big office with a huge tree stump beside it (I always wondered why that was there) and you didn't want to visit him...ever.

I am not that person. If ever a job called for running shoes and sweats, it would be this job. You are never sitting still..and if you are, you need to explain to me what in the world Robert and I are doing wrong.

Robert and I deal with situations every day. We deal with a lot of horrific situations, unfortunately, but sometimes we deal with some that you just can't help but laugh about...even though you shake your head about what in the world is going on.

This week was one of those weeks.

If there is any kind of pattern to a school year, it is usually this. You deal with kindergartners at the beginning of the year as they transition into school...and fifth graders at the end of the year as they transition out of elementary school.  I might add that is the only pattern I have discovered about a school year..except that maybe things are usually calm until November, and then everyone freaks out about a number of things.

This year, people are freaking out in August. Not a good sign.

We have a couple of kindergarteners that have kept everyone on their toes and considering medication. (for themselves and the kindergarteners) One is kind of like a kinesthetic ping pong ball. He is operating on his own time table, and has obviously watched too much championship tag team wrestling..because he considers it his duty in life to hit, pinch, or cut off the hair of everyone in his classroom.  His parents somehow think he is normal..because this goes back to the theory of perspective. If you haven't had experiences with children outside what they do, then that is your normal. Until a group sits down with you and explains that a child throwing over tables and propelling themselves on top of children is NOT the norm in school. We do this kindly, however..and have become good at dunking as the child throws a block at your during the parent conference.

Both the teachers in his classroom have handled this with their usual charm and positive perspective..except I did become a bit worried when one of them was seen to be walking back and forth, mumbling under her breath. She is a stellar teacher and person, and this is very unlike her. Very. But she is at a loss on how to handle this child, and somehow teach the other students in her class without giving them all kevlar vests to wear. I wonder if we can somehow give out spa retreats for teachers? This could help.

The other kindergartener also operates under his own time and space continuum. He believes that he is in charge of everyone..and by everyone, that means the children in his class, his teachers, and also in charge of me.  He didn't like doing what he was supposed to do on Friday, so he went dashing away from Mr. Joe, and ran smack into me. I of course took him by the hand, with him yelling like some demon from the Exorcist ..We walked into the office, where he preceded to continue screaming, pulling papers off the office shelf , and I began to give him forced choices..which went like this.

Me: "You can stop screaming and be a big Colinas Kindergartener, or we will have to call your daddy."
Child: "Assshhhhhhhh....DON'T call my Daddy! "(screaming continues)
Me: "I can't really understand you when you are screaming at me. You can stop, or we will have to call your daddy."
Child: (with head turning like a scene from the Exorcist)" NOOOOOOOO....you can't call my daddy!"
Me: "Miss Kim, can you get the card for the number so I can call daddy?"
Child: (now venom is spewing out of his mouth, and his eyes start to roll) "NOOOOOOOO...don't call my daddy!"
Me: "Hmmmmm, where is the phone?"
Child: (screaming stops, he looks out at me from the corners of his eyes)
Me: "Are you going to act like a kindergartener now, so we can go back to class?"
Child: (Nods head in a positive way)

Score: Me one, child zero.

However, my favorite story of the week involves a situation that neither Robert or I were involved in, but got to laugh at just the same. We have a family at our school that has some unique little boys. We love them all. But they sometimes end up in our offices for random instances..and this week entailed one of them.

If I had any kind of magic power, I would design a bus system that would put each child individually into a chute (kind of like the bank ones, but designed for a child, of course)..and place them into the chute at the end of the day, where they would be propelled into a chair at their house. Sadly, I don't have that power, and we have to deal with buses..which is like a moving classroom with children on crack.

The little boy in question got into a altercation with another child on the bus, where he proceeded to push him, hit him..and then screamed into his face...

"This is not my fault...I have a condition!"

When Robert and I saw the note that our secretary handed to use with a straight face..we knew that one of us would use this phrase as a Facebook status update. Robert won.

And now we have a phrase that most likely will sum up our year..which has barely begun.

May all of our conditions be little ones. :)