The Happy of Me-the second edition

Since it is Thanksgiving, it is now time for the second edition of the "Happy of Me." I feel sad for Thanksgiving. It seems as these days that the Christmas season just steamrolls over Thanksgiving, and it does not get the credit that it deserves. The one thing that I have learned (angels applauding here) is that I have many, many, many, many (did I mention many?) things to be thankful for..and that is what the Thanksgiving season is for. (Not to mention the yummy Thanksgiving meal leftovers..after all, there is nothing better than a turkey sandwich with Miracle Whip, cranberry sauce, and left over dressing. Nothing).

So here are the things that I am thankful for-the second edition. To be honest, I am not sure if I have a first edition, but I know I have talked about things I am thankful for before..so I am counting this as the second edition. Besides, it sounds better.

Here we go..prepare for major rambling.

1. My job. I know this may sound strange, as much grumbling that I have done in previous blogs. But the fact of the matter is that even though my job may be tricky at times, and I feel at times that I am highly inadequate to the task at hand, the fact of the matter is that I am exactly where I am supposed to be at the moment, doing exactly what I need to be doing. And when I look around and see families that have lost homes and possessions due to losing a job, I am very thankful indeed.  And seeing the children that go to Colinas makes me realize just how fortunate I am . I am also thankful for the people that I work with everyday, even though they do make a scrunchy face and flee when I threaten to sing. So thank you Rio Rancho Public Schools for hiring me. (even though I still contend that they were desperate.)
2. Whitney and Dena. Both amazing..both love me..and I sure love them. 

3. My friends. I am not sure where I would be without them today..they support me, laugh with me,  and love me as I continue to learn many, many, many life lessons..and I hope that they know how much I love them and would do anything for them.  I can't imagine what my life would be without them. I hope I never have to imagine.

4. Kitty and Tila. They give me a purpose, and are always entertaining. Always. They are the best therapy a dork like me could have. 

5. My job at Sagebrush. I get to work with amazing and wonderful  people..and finally, there is a purpose to my goofiness and dorkyness. Double bonus.

6. My home. It IS my home. I am happy when I am here, I am happy when I work on it..and for the first time in I can't tell you, I am even happy when it's a bit messy. That never EVER happened before.  I think it goes to show you when you let go and let things happen like they should, things take care of themselves. And control is not so important as peace.

7. My crepe myrtles. They bloomed this summer, and are a happy reminder of the South for me. Kind of like having a bit of North Carolina in my New Mexico backyard.

8. My lawnmower. I love to mow, and it was "What a bargain." Can't ask for more than that. 

9. My new glasses. I can FINALLY wear glasses, and not have crowds running screaming out of the room. They are very hip and trendy. And even though Tila got ahold of them, and chomped them (not a happy moment) I am even more thankful that they were under warranty and didn't cost a lung transplant to replace them. 

10. My ficus plant. This is a story about the power of Facebook. I had been looking for one for sometime, but I didn't have any luck finding one. And I really needed one for the empty corner of my den. So one day I asked on Facebook if anyone knew where I could get one that didn't weigh as much as a two-ton truck. And one of my friends, Debbie, actually gave me one that is now sitting very happily in my den. Thank you, Debbie.

11. Jackson Reid. Best and happiest baby (well, I guess he is a toddler) ever. And no, I am not in the least bit biased. 

12. My iPhone. It does almost everything except washing dishes...and I am sure if I looked, there would be an app for that. 

13. The lessons that I keep learning. Once again, I know that I grumble and complain about going through stuff, but I have realized that there are reasons I go through these lessons. With every experience I have, I learn more about who I am, and what I want. Not what I think others want, or about what someone I like might want, but about what I need, and the standards that I have. At times this makes me feel a bit guilty still, but then I stop and realize that taking care of me means just that...if I care enough about myself, I need to make myself a priority. Least I hope that's the path I'm on. 

14. .Learning that I am really not that bad. I am happy with who I am, and where I am in life. I am so thankful to wake up every morning, and realize that I am happy with me ..and that everyday is a chance to learn more about myself and realize it is more important to be happy in the present than wistful about the past, or worried about the future. Cause what happens is supposed to happen.  Of course, I have my moments..but they are getting fewer and less frequent. I think. At least that is my theory at the moment.

15. And last but not least...(I know you must be breathing a sigh of relief I'm almost done)

I am thankful for my new fuzzy red blanket that keeps me warm, and that best of all, I won as a present at Pokeno. I do like to win. And the fact that it is cute, fuzzy, and warm is a bonus. Now if it only came with a Sharpie, it would be perfect.

I hope you have a Thanksgiving that is full of things you are thankful for..and that you don't let Christmas run over it.  Just saying. :-)

The people you meet on planes..and Phoenix.

This week, I got to go on an exciting adventure. Due to a series of events (and the kindness of Robert) I got to go to a conference about Singapore Math in Phoenix. (Well, actually it was in Scottsdale, but we landed in Phoenix).

Usually I get on a plane, make small talk with the people beside me, and then read or look outside the plane trying to figure out where in the heck we are. I always thought they should have big balloons up in the sky that read "You are passing Dallas, Texas".  However, no one seems to like that idea. It would be a good way to pass the time while flying, though.

This time was different. The plane going to Phoenix was packed, and I sat next to a women that was on her way to Scottsdale. She is training to be a Life Coach, working with Martha Beck. Martha Beck is one of the people whose books I've been reading to be more in the now. (Isn't it interesting how there are no coincidences in  life?) We talked about how she is training and what is happening in her life, and she recommended a new author for me to read: Bryon Katie. So of course that new author is now on my iPad. She seems to have a life in which she has a home  in New Mexico with a man who gets upset if he has less than a million dollars in his checking account. (Really? I am happy if I have 1000 dollars in mine) And now she is looking for a home in Phoenix to be near her daughter and grandchildren.  But the best part was hearing about the Life Coaching classes, and thinking that perhaps that might be an option for me. If you think about it, most of my job is listening and problem solving with others. Or trying to, at least.  We traded phone numbers at the end of the trip, and she is going to let me know how her Martha Beck retreat went.

Then I landed in Phoenix. I have been to several nice conferences, but this one kept my mouth open most of the time in amazement. We were met at the airport by a stretch limousine .  A stretch limousine. Holy Cow. (I don't get out much, I know).  We got to the hotel, which was also amazing. I was in a suite with a balcony overlooking the pool and the golf course...with two beds, and an actual shower that worked.  (you know how hotel showers can be).

Then there was the conference. They had the actual inventor (well, author I guess is a better word) of the Singapore Math model who was the main speaker. He was from Singapore, naturally. They just call this model "math" in Singapore, not Singapore Math.  They also had several incredible keynote speakers as well. I met the lady who wrote the "Calendar Math" program that I used when I taught. THAT was exciting. I am sure she was thrilled as I explained to her how great I thought her program was, and how I wished I had brought the book for her to sign. Although I gave the book away. Rats.

I met a lot of professionals in the field of education as well. It was kind of reassuring to find out that most people are facing the same situations we are..and that we need to be appreciative in Rio Rancho. Most class sizes were a lot higher than what we complain about having. There were class sizes in some states of forty children. Forty children. Holy Cow.

I also believe that the sponsors of this conference felt as if we had been in some kind of German concentration camp, and needed to be fed. A lot. There was a lot of food, in all varieties and specialities..like a cheesecake chimichanga. Let me just say that after being persuaded to take one bite, the heavens opened and the angels sang. It took all the willpower I had to not stab my fork and eat the rest of it.  But I thought of Torturous Dave, the trainer, and resisted.

Then it was time to go, sadly. We departed in the stretch limousine, and traveled back to the airport. This time I sat next to a lady who looked like an older version of a model on the cover of Vogue..(and this is the best part) she had a Louis Vuitton purse.

The mother ship of purses, I might add.

Being me, I complemented her on her good taste, and she shared with me that she inherited a whole collection of Luis Vuitton ware from her late mother. Purse, garment bag, suitcases, etc. Once again, my mouth was open in awe. This fact led to her story of life..in which she has dual lives...one outside of Phoenix, where she lives in her late mother's home. The other life she has is in Corrales, where she shares a gigantic house with her boyfriend, who actually searched for her..and found her, since they were a couple in high school. He is a lawyer that travels to Wyoming , where he visits his adult children and grandchildren. I'm not sure if he gets anxious if he has less  than a million dollars in his checking account...but I don't think the issue of money is an issue with either one of them. 

We talked about the dating world, and how all her gorgeous friends are having trouble finding a man who is actually normal. (This does not bode well for me, then, I might add). She did say that I should come and visit them in their huge house. Perhaps she will give me a leftover Luis Vuitton purse.

I am always hopeful. :-)

The "Mature Ladies of Valle Alto" weekends

Kitty and I really enjoy our weekends. Let me clarify, in case you are wondering why this is. (And if you are not wondering, it is best just to stop reading now...because I am sure I am going to ramble).

My Whitney moved out of my house at the beginning of the school year. She and her friends are living in this little house in Albuquerque..in which I am sure that they have a great time, and do things that 20 year olds do..most of it in which I don't want to know. When she did so, I still had Kitty and the amazing Tila Monster in my possession. And although I am very fond of Tila on many levels, there are some things about Tila that make living with her an endurance event:

1. She is slightly crazy..and those of you who know her will agree.
2. She is VERY excited to see anyone and everyone. There is not a part of her body that doesn't move when someone has the fortune to stop by my house. Her body moves kind of like a highly agitated washing machine on the spin cycle. 
3. She considers it her duty in life to up my aerobic training by constantly grabbing items from places that I haven't put high enough out of her reach. And then she considers it a game for me to get it from her.  I have become very adept at the phrase, "Drop it!" And although she is getting better at listening to that phrase, there are times I wish I could run like a very fast runner (whose name escapes me at the moment) so I can catch her. This doesn't happen, however...because she is a very fast dog. 
4. If I do sit down, she spends a lot of time (I think she is in contact with my trainer) putting bones, chew toys, her wubba in my lap so I can spend time tossing them, tugging them, or petting her. Shame on me for forgetting my duties as a dog grandma.
5. She also gets up in the night, because she IS  potty trained..and she needs to go outside to do her business. However, the other night (when I had to do my business) I walked out of the bathroom to find her with my BRAND NEW (and expensive, I might add) glasses in her mouth. I am amazed I could see this, because it was dark, and I am extremely near sighted. She did drop them, but not before she twisted the arm of the frame, and put a small chomp in one of the lenses. The only reason that she is alive at this moment is because (Thank God) my glasses are under warranty, and only cost  forty dollars to replace.

In short, she is a puppy. 

When you have children, there is a mantra that goes like this..." Mom, I want (fill in the blank here), and I PROMISE that I will do all the work, take care of it, and you won't have to worry about it AT ALL." And when you have children, you KNOW that the mantra was made with all the best intentions in the world, but sometimes the follow-through doesn't...well...doesn't follow through. 

This was the case with Tila.. 

However, when Whit did move out, she did a wonderful thing. We now share "joint dog custody" of Tila. I have her weekdays, and she has her weekends, allowing Kitty and I some respite from a one year old puppy who considers it her duty in life to bug poor Kitty, who is just trying to take a nap and rest. 

So Kitty and I enjoy our "Mature Ladies of Valle Alto" weekends...in which we can sit without being licked to death, put objects in normal places where they will not be snatched by the "Tilanator" and generally rest up for her return on Monday morning. And it is nice....

But I have to say, she does bring a bit of dog excitement to my life, and I'm glad to see her when she returns.

Wonder where I can hide my new glasses at now? 

(Tila plotting her next item to snatch...I think she really is concerned about my aerobic health, after all).

Have a Mature, relaxing, weekend too. 

Sometimes days are just like that...and random thoughts in October.

Our school has been without a working voice mail system for a while. When I say for a while, I mean since last spring. This has been an issue because the voice mails somehow get out there in "voice mail land". They must take a trip to Disney World, perhaps spend the day at the beach, and somehow end up in voice mail boxes a couple of days later. This has made any kind of credibility that we have in being responsive quite difficult....but everyone has been understanding for the most part when we try to explain messages are taking some kind of TransSiberian Train ride before they come to our phones.

We finally got new phones on Monday. This was very exciting, because new stuff is just...well, new, and a bit different, and new phones have absolutely nothing to do with data or test score improvement. This is a nice diversion sometimes.   The phones are quite hip and trendy, and come with all kinds of digital buttons and screens and features that most of us have no idea what to do with at the moment.  And we can't use the intercom system, because they have to some how magically sync the phones with the intercom system. However, the new phones do have a paging system that will let you page and make announcements over the phone. All this feature has done so far is scare our staff members half to death. One of our fifth grade teachers typically keeps his phone in his room closet (no comment here about that :) and he said that it was a little disturbing the other afternoon to hear my voice coming out of his closet.  It doesn't take much to entertain us at Colinas.

Along with the phones, we had a deadline today in which the teachers would turn in their Professional Development Plans (or PDPs ) to us. Since today was the last day, I spent most of my time in meetings going over these plans with individual teachers. And it rained. All day. In New Mexico, we need the rain...but having rain leads to inclement weather day..which leads to fear and dread among teachers and staff. Let's just say that children do best when they are outdoors during recess, running amok. ( I love the word amok. Don't ask me why. It is a word that is applicable to many things and situations).


As in:


1. Tila is running amok. This is a normal occurrence.
2. My brain is running amok. Also a normal occurrence.
3. My shoes are running amok. Why is it that you are always looking for a pair of shoes...and one is always missing? Do they hate you?  Do they get together in the middle of the night in your closet and decide to hide to drive you crazy in the morning at 5:00 am? (The fact that most likely Tila has run off with one of them doesn't factor into this. In fact, Tila found one buried in the cushions of a wing chair in my bedroom after a YEAR..yes, a year does not factor into this). This of course, was after I had given up all hope and purchased another pair that were similar to them.

The rain also happened during the Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta. This is one of the biggest and best events if you live in Albuquerque, and it ALWAYS leads to wind and rain. ALWAYS. It hadn't rained in months, but it chose to rain 2 or 3 days straight because you guessed it...the Balloon Fiesta was in town. Makes you wonder if God has a bit of a sense of humor. Well, of course God has a sense of humor. He gave someone the idea for the Chia Pet.

Have a Sunday where your world isn't going amok. ;-)

.

Are you a Good Witch? Or A Bad Witch?

I always loved watching the Wizard of Oz growing up. This was of course back when it only came on once a year..and it was a BIG deal. It was usually on Sunday nights..and my sisters and I would sit on the floor, filled with anticipation and dread. I loved the first part of the movie..Ms. Glitch on her bike (da da da da da da daaa.) the tornado spinning the house in Oz, the Munchkins, the Scarecrow, The Lion, and the Tin man.


And then there was the Wicked Witch of the West. (shudder)


I did not like the latter part..especially the flying monkeys and The Wicked Witches' henchmen.  I really got upset when the flying monkeys tore the scarecrow apart..and when the henchmen said that chant. (ooo eee oooo eeee ooooo aaa). But the Wicked Witch did melt at the end, Dorothy figured out that she already had everything she needed where she was, and the Tin Man did get his heart..although he had it anywho.


This sounds suspiciously like my life, I might add.


Just like the movie, I was looking forward to this school year with anticipation and dread. Anticipation because I love the group of people that I work with...dread because things were changing and moving faster than the tornado did that lifted Dorothy's house off to Oz.


It looks like we're not in Kansas anymore, either.


I knew this year would be harder on everyone. We had staffing cuts, due to budget and to our school population. For the first time since I've become the principal, we were forced to combine grade levels..so that our class sizes wouldn't reach 35 or 40. We have Special Education teachers working with different grade levels, and even some General Education teachers doing the same.  Our district has always been a huge proponent of lower class sizes and staffing so that our children get the maximum support. With the budget shrinking faster than the Tin Man's heart, this was not possible this year. And things had to change.


And no one likes the changes much, I might add.


Since I've been in administration, I have noticed ebbs and flows in a school year. It always seems like there is a HUGE dip in November. ...and then again in the spring, especially when there is a long stretch between breaks. This year, we have hit the dip in September...which is scary. Everyone is working hard, stretched to their limit, and exhausted. On top of less staff and support, we are expected to do target more specific needs, and perhaps do a backflip to show that we can juggle data, support families that are also struggling to stay afloat, and have some semblance of a personal life.


I have always been a person who likes it when people are happy and content. (Amazingly enough, there are actually people that don't like it when people are happy..but that's another story).  The staff that work at Colinas work harder than anyone I know..and they have a level of excellence that they expect to stay at each year..but this year is different entirely.


And I didn't know what to do.


I LIKE to know what to do..it's the teacher in me, it's the people pleaser in me..it's me. I like it when people are happy and content. In short, I  have visions of being a shorter, darker haired version of the Glinda, the Good Witch.

Silly me.


This year, I have had to be more direct than I have ever had to be. Ever. Because of the expectations that are coming from the state; and also because we want to make sure that every child has the support that they need..and that we give the support that is needed for both the students and the staff to do so.  Part of this I agree with...we do need to look at data and best practices to ensure we are doing the right things for our kids..and back our ideas with solid data and best practices. Part of this I don't agree with..constraints and guidelines that don't make logical sense, and most importantly, aren't fair to the students and the teachers.


All of the above made me feel at times as if I was now the very person I was terrified of each year...

This of course, will not do. At all. She definitely has bad hair care.


All of this left me exhausted and befuzzled and sad. I wasn't sure what I could do to make it better for everyone...since the circumstances weren't going to change..or to help everyone...because of course I like to be helpful. 


And then I started to think. This of course is in conjunction with the books that I've been reading about how to stay present in the "now"...how to be the person you want to be..even though everything around you is not what you want it to be. 


I have the power to change that. I do have the power to change one thing. I can't change the circumstances of this year, or what is going on in my life (like where in the world is Mr. Right...or Mr. Kinda almost Right) but I can change my attitude about how I feel.  Our very wise counselor at Colinas (who actually IS
our Glinda, the Good witch) told me a quote by Victor Frankl, which says, " Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. " 


I can choose my response to all this. I can choose to face the circumstances, but still respond in the way that  is positive and affirming. I can choose to come to school each day..and face my life each day with making the very best responses I can in the very best of difficult circumstances. And in doing so, perhaps there is a chance that I can still do the job I was hired to do...and support the people that I care about. 


I have the power.

I think I'm buying the wall hanging above for Christmas presents..or maybe putting it on T-shirts. :)

Honesty...just saying.

You would think that I would learn. You would think that the "Life Lessons of Laura Moore" should have advanced by now to a more fine tuned, metaphysical, world renowned me. (Although I am now famous at the local Starbucks because someone caught me in a weak moment and took my picture. I would rather have my nails pulled off than take a picture. Well, let me rethink that one...but you know what I mean). This just goes to show you that I spend far too much time at Starbucks. However, that's another story for another time.

I have mentioned before that people usually convey what they are. (Please refer back to the story about the Mayor and his distain for lying).  If you are a person that likes to cheat and run around on your spouse/significant other/sweetie pie...then you are going to think that everyone else does that too. Hopefully you are not that person. Please don't tell me if you are. I really don't want to know that. I think if you are fortunate enough to have a spouse/significant other/sweetie pie..it is a good idea to show commitment to said sweetie pie.

I am also finding out (in the latest installment of my Life lesson journey) that people will also convey things to you that they are not. Perhaps they wish they were that. Perhaps someone told them they were that. Perhaps they had a fleeting glimpse of what it would be like to be that...and they are holding on to that glimpse like Tila holds on to one of my new shoes. I don't know. But here is the deal.

I don't get why honesty is such an issue.

Now don't get me wrong...I don't have a halo around my head. I have not been truthful myself at times. I don't think anyone is entirely truthful. But it never continues to amaze me how people can spin webs around themselves, trapping themselves in lies..when it would be so much easier on everyone if they had put on their big boy/girl pants and just told the truth in the first place.

Lack of honesty is a slippery slope. Once you start down that hill, it is very hard to get back up to the top again. And it's hard to keep up with what you say...and then what you said after that. This leads to puzzled looks on faces...and those who do have good memories remember the variation in facts. And sometimes, there are people who choose NOT to hear the lies..or the stories that change faster than the innings when your baseball team is not so....well, not so stellar.  I lived that way for a long time. It was easier to ignore the discrepancies than face the real truth.

So here is the deal again.

People who spend a lot of time telling you who they are, and what they are about...usually are the opposite  of what they are saying.

If you are nice and kind, it is just best to be that..rather than telling others you are that.

If you are a BFL (big fat liar for those of you who don't know me well) it is best to get a notebook to keep up with what you say to others. After all, if lack of integrity is your deal, it is best to show fidelity in doing so.

Just saying.

The "Letting Go" Thing

I am happy to announce that I am now going through more than one paragraph a day of the Eckart Tolle book. After tutorial instructions from my friend who is fond of the Chefs..

I am now zipping through "The Power of the Now". However, keep in mind that zipping means in this case I can get through the main idea of it all. I will say this is a book where bits and pieces pop out at you. They are minute bits and pieces at this point, but some things are making sense just the same.

One thing Mr. Tolle (I don't think it is respectful to call him Eckart at this point) is talking about in my morning selection of his book is that in order to live in the "Now", you have to let go of the control and by doing so, you will accumulate more than you could have even dreamed of having.

As I read this passage, I realized that I (yes, small, anxiety ridden  me) had actually done this...and it worked!

(Skies opening, angels singing, birds tweeting, my personal angels going "Woot Woot" that I FINALLY got something).

When I was trying to purchase my house, there were many obstacles along the way. The biggest one was that the money that I was supposed to get in the house that the Mayor and I owned together was being withheld from me for various reasons; the major one (I imagine) was that he did not want me to have it.

This was an issue, for without this money, there would not be a house for me. However, to be honest, I was very happy at my peaceful "Recovery House", and I wasn't really focusing on the fact that I might not be able to get it.

The house was supposed to be ready in August, and there were some crucial papers that the Mayor HAD to sign to prove that my name was no longer on the mortgage that we shared together. This obviously was a law written somewhere in "How to Buy a House" land. But to do this, I had to go talk to them (which I would not do for my sanity and safety) or he had to sign them. (Which he would not do. This should not have surprised me..and didn't really).

So I told the real estate people that I could do no more to make sure that they had all the signatures that they needed...and if they wanted me to get the loan, they would have to figure out a way to make this work. And then I hung up the phone, and went home to walk Kitty. After all, one must have priorities.

In short, I let the situation  go, and threw it out there in the cosmos of life. I didn't obsess about what would happen if I didn't get it. I didn't worry about what could happen to the small investment I had already made.

To repeat....I let the situation  go. Mr. Tolle says you don't have problems (unless you are living in the future or the past) you have situations.

(Skies opening again, angels doing back flips along with Reid, and reporting to God that perhaps they could drop their platoon of angel surveillance a bit on me. I imagine monitoring me takes angels working overtime).

And guess what happened?

Well, if you know me, you know what happened, because I am now sitting in the house of which I let go of the problem. (oops, I mean situation).

It does work. :)