When you grow up in the South, you learn (and say) many charming sayings. Sayings such as, "Bless your heart", and "Does your Mama know you are doing this?" are imprinted into your DNA from birth. There were ones in my teenage years such as, "Laura Ann, if you bend over any further, the whole south will see your fanny" (this was when I had a yellow mini-skirt I was especially proud of) and my personal favorite from my mother: " You would drive Jesus Christ crazy." I don't think that is a Southern colloquium exactly, but since it was said in my house in High Point, North Carolina a lot...I am counting it. (North Carolina is in the South, although if you talk to my friends from Georgia, they stoutly claim that any state above the Mason-Dixon line is a northern state. I ignore such statements. Now I am many things, but I will never be a northerner.)
One of my favorite sayings that has stuck with me from my childhood until today is the famous, known world wide, and often used, "It's time for you to put on your big girl panties." This is also applicable to men as well, although it just doesn't have the same twang and sound.."Time to put on your big boy boxers" just doesn't have the same effect. I guess these days you could also say, "Time to pull up your big girl thongs", but since they are already pulled up (and you know what I mean by this) it kind of takes away from the elegance of the saying.
I have been a principal now for four years. I love being in education...I count myself very fortunate that I have had a career that I love. I have found during my "The bursting bubble" years (which means now) that there are a lot of people who do not like their jobs. At all. When I was in the bubble, I was puzzled and amazed by this fact of life. Didn't everyone like their jobs? I mean, after all, where else can you read books, make up songs to the tune of "Over In the Meadow", use sharpies, and think of ways to construct a paper tree in the hallway without alerting the fire marshall? And just in case you were unaware, most teachers (including myself) are a bit OCD, and huge control freaks. I had my folders, notebooks, centers, books, coordinated (and this is the most important part) color coded. Good color coding is essential for organization and routine..and it makes my heart very happy. I must admit that it is hard in my position now to color code things, or use Sharpies. (sigh). I am a Sharpie-a-holic. I have them in every shape, color, or size you can imagine. But it's hard to justify buying new ones being a principal. You just don't have that many occasions to to happily make dot letters with different color Sharpies on folders.
When the Rio Rancho school system decided that I was ready for a principalship (silly them) I was amazed. Reid had died two years before I became the "real" principal at Colinas, and in grieving time, that is blink of an eye. But I applied, went through the interview with 4, 304 people in attendance..and got the position.
I would like to be able to tell you that I am a phenomenal principal....that I swooped into the school, data charts blazing,, words of wisdom abounding , drawing the school staff into one cohesive, data driven, compassionate unit of amazement ... with groups throughout the country coming to watch in wonder as we turned our 73% poverty school into proficient (and mostly advanced) readers, writers, and Albert Eistein like mathematicians.
However, I am not phenomenal by any means...or even proficient in most cases. Being a principal is probably the most humbling job I have ever have. It's like being on a HUGE ship, and driving it (do you actually drive ships?) through a very narrow corridor (like the Panama Canal, or some small creek like water ) trying not to scrape the sides, throwing out life preservers when a teacher or student gets thrown off because I hit waves and can't navigate in a straight line to save my life...and praying that everyone stays on the boat, is safe on the boat, and we get to the end of the journey without harm to self or others.
Except the journey never ends, really.
I have seen amazing things happen at Colinas..amazing. I have had the privilege to watch our teachers and staff do things for our students to help them grow, learn, and succeed. I have sat with teachers in tears, wondering what else they could do to help one of their students, working with staff members to make sure a child had a safe place to stay, had food to survive, were safe from adults who should have been their safety net, but sadly were not.
However, in the world of accountability and data, none of the above counts...really.
I do believe in data, and how it should drive instruction. I believe that we should set standards, and targets, and have goals that are measurable so that our students can become proficient. A diagnostician
shared with me one time the saying, "In God we trust..all others should use data." And he is right. Data does give you a valid, true picture of where a child is at that time, for that assessment. It helps you to pinpoint your areas of weakness and your areas that you can celebrate. I totally believe in the concept that a team of teachers, looking at data, can make amazing turn arounds and growth with their students. I have seen it happen.
However, the world of accountability and data is now all there is for a school, and for a child. Really.
I know that we can always do a better job in ensuring that our children learn to their fullest potential. And I want our school (and the students in it, especially) to do well. There is not a person on our staff that doesn't want the same thing. But the tricky part is deciding at what point we let data drive what we do for our children, or let children and their needs drive what we do for children. And what I do as an administrator to support our teachers in their job to do so..and at what cost do I intervene if the right things aren't happening, or our "scores" don't comply to what the government and state expect? We can always work "smarter, not harder". That phrase sounds really good, but when the targets of proficiency keep going up, and the needs of our children also increase, that is not always an easy thing to do.
So I have a lot of thinking to do. It's time to put on my big girl panties, and decide what in the world I can do to increase our test scores (which is the only reflection anyone has on how a school performs) without totally demoralizing the Colinas staff, (who work harder than anyone I know) and most importantly, making sure our students still feel like they are achieving to the best of their ability , and that they are not just a data point on a chart.
Because if I can not do that, I am not doing my job...really.
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