People are designed to be together. I mean honestly, if peanut butter and jelly are supposed to be together, so are people. I have always been around someone..my mom, my sisters, my children, my friends and the people I work with each day. I remember thinking when my children were little that if I had 2 minutes to sit in the bathroom uninterrupted, that was a bonus for me. And then Reid died, the Mayor of Crazy land went...well..crazy, and I was catapulted into a world that was really just me navigating the world. (This would be a scary thought, except for the fact that once again..I had no choice in the matter really).
Learning to be on my own does have its advantages...at times. So I am going to list them in no particular order...even if I am just doing to reassure myself that it is a good thing.
1. If you want to go to bed at 7:30 pm, you can. No one looks at you like you have turned into an 85 year old grandma.
2. If you want to eat a bowl of cereal for supper, you can. No one is going to fuss that they need pizza. (just as a side note, I always used to think that if I was sent to Hell, I would be at a Pizza Hut washing laundry).
3. You can pick anything out that you want without compromise. However, you can not blame anyone if you pick the wrong thing. (This leads to rock, bush, tree, and all kinds of anxiety).
4. No one gets upset or yells at you. This makes life peaceful, although a bit quiet. (and I might add after all the years of being yelled at or scolded, this is a very good thing.)
5. You can sing at the top of your lungs, and no one runs fleeing into the back yard. (However, I do get sad looks from Tila and Kitty when I do so, but I ignore them.)
6. You get to hear from everyone, "I wish I had your life, and didn't have to deal with ____ (husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, children...just fill in the blank here). However, I do notice that the people who say the above seem to be very fond of all the above. People always want what they can't have..including me.
7. You figure out that even though you are hopelessly mechanically challenged, you can do some things. (Like putting together stools without them falling apart...or actually cooking food on the grill that doesn't set off fire alarms in the city of Rio Rancho)
8. When you go to church, and cry during the service, no one pats your shoulder. (Although the people beside me give me strange looks..but since I don't know them, that doesn't count.)
I also know that I am learning a lot of things from my singledomness. This is part of a series in the life lessons that I am learning. Since I am a slow learner, the lessons have been many. So here are some of them:
1. You learn that when you are on your own, you are not invited to "couple like" activities..because you are not part of a couple. It's like you don't fit into the configuration needed for those type of activities.
2. You learn that asking and inviting friends over is not an imposition to them.
2. You learn to go to events alone. Like the concert I am going to on Monday night by myself. So there.
3. You learn that there are lots of people who care about you, and want to help, and be part of your life. The asking is the part that is hard. I have been so grateful and thankful that so many people care about me, and are willing to help. (Even though they have to lift a million pound piano, or TV, they have done it. Without grumbling...much.)
3. You learn to trust yourself in your decisions and in who you are, actually.
4. You continue to learn the lessons of life that make you who you are..and who you are becoming..and who you have the strength to be.
5. And finally (well, finally in what I know at the moment) you learn life, with all its annoyances, and losses, and grief, is worth being in. (Although it sure would be nice to have a wonderful man as a part of it.)
Well, I have to grumble about something, don't I? :)
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