All those New Year's resolutions and reflections and stuff

It's January.

The time of fresh starts and new resolve and white sales.

I have never been a big New Year's Eve type of person. Since I've always been one of those annoying early risers, staying up until midnight takes fortitude and other things that usually end up with running out of "umph"..and ending up in comfy pajamas in bed...asleep.

My favorite New Year's Eve story involves my brother -in-law, who was a happy New Year's Eve drinker and partier. He went around blowing those party tooters into people's ears and shouting, "Happy New Year!"

I know. It doesn't take a lot to amuse me.

This year I actually went out for New Year's Eve...and....(drum roll please) had a date.

Aren't you glad you are sitting down reading this?

It was kind of exciting, because most New Year's celebrations in the past 12 years or so have involved going to a friends' house, the Mayor getting upset about something that usually included something I had done wrong (laughed too much, talked too much) and leaving because I had to hear "the lecture" in the yellow chair in our bedroom afterwards.

This was different.

I actually went out and bought these really cute shoes that were high heel like. Now, I don't wear high heels. You would think it would be a good idea, because it would at least make me tall enough to be of an "average" height. But I walk in them like I had been drinking 2,345 margaritas..and they hurt. Owwie.

This wasn't any different either. But they were super cute.

Dena and Jacks were visiting, so I got the "Dena makeover" I found this cute shirt with ruffles, and some hip and trendy jewelry. So I was set to look at least festive.

We went out to eat, and then to the party. We had a great time, with great people, and I stayed up past midnight. Super fun.

So now I am facing a New Year, and thinking about what I need to do to be a better Laura.

I'm not big on resolutions, because it's an easy thing to do..and then not to do. Last year I decided (after listening to Marie, who is wise beyond her years) to do one simple thing as a goal. It was very simple, but hadn't been easy for me to do.

And it was this..The circle thing.

It kind of goes back to the "things you can control" and "things you can let go" deal. If something was outside of my control, I simply let it go. And I have to tell you, it worked really well. After I got the hang of it (had to repeat "not in my circle" a lot) life got so much easier...and much more peaceful.

I now have to look at my next goal for the year. I have found that I am full of good intentions, but my follow through isn't the greatest at times. I heard today someone say, "You can want something, and desire something, but you need a plan to make it happen".

So my goal this year is focus.

I used to be a focused type person. Heaven help you if I had a goal and I wanted something to happen. Now, I didn't always make it happen..but I was a very persistant person and kept at it like...well, like Tila does when she has a tasty bone. Do you notice that many of my analogies involve dogs?

I need to get out more.

The focus left me after Reid died..along with the persistance and the annoyance that I was in making things happen. It was like I would see something going on and think, "Hmmmm, I really should be doing that. Is it time for a nap yet?"

And I don't take naps well.

Now in lots of ways, I am a better person for all that has happened to me..which goes back to my theory in life that things happen as they should. I don't always like the way that things happen, but when I look back, I see why.

Reid's death is the exception to that. I don't think I will ever understand that.

So I have decided for this year that I will focus on the "triangle of me". Good health, good eating habits, and financial diligence.   I need to focus more on making sure those areas intentionally happen. And I also need to be kind to myself if I mess up from time to time.

So I am working with Torturous Dave twice a week, and now going to the gym to do cardio more on my own.  I'm tracking what I eat, and trying to stay within guidelines that make me healthier.  I'm more diligent about where my money goes, and how I take care of finances. It's all about paying attention to the world of me.

Cause I am really am important and special..and although I do forget that a lot at times, focus is what I need to do.

Now if I could just find my notebook....:)